One week in the life of the Jogger Blogger

(I know we're not joggers, and I resent being called one, but this is a poetic license zone and needs must).

Identical Twins? Coming later, you've got to read this boring lot first.

Sunday 6th February 2005

Ran with the Sunday Mud Sloggers 2hrs 20mins. See that section. 

Spotted it? I know, a mile off, I'm a Jogger Blogger Mud Slogger.

Wednesday 9th 

Fained a sickie intending to do the Kentmere Horseshoe with Brian D & Joe H. However due to Matrimonial Forgotten Duties, Joe H pulled out. I have it on good authority that he went to Shap buying New Balance Shoes & Black Puddings, and took the wife as well.  Brian & I decided that the 2 hours driving would be better employed running & started at the Abbey Village Fisherman's lay bye.

We set off on a run that had previously taken me solo, 3 hrs., which in my defense & and having to uphold a name like mine, had included an exhausting 10 minutes releasing a fence locked sheep on Winter Hill, & I wasn't in my wellies.

We followed the path of the Handicap to the top of Great Hill. On arrival at the summit, the time told me that we were going well, and we proceeded at a pace, avoiding the slippery slabs where we could, via Spitler's Edge, to eventually the Winter Hill summit. "at a pace" means commensurate with & within the acceptable V60 limits, and must not be confused with say "Steve Tunstall Pace".( reference to Steve in Harrier Hearsay page 17, this month's issue).   Through the boggy section before crossing the tarmac road, (I believe this is where Gordon's dad, Charlie was once bogged in to his waist & required at least one extra pair of hands to extract him), Brian seemed to read a route that was free of problems, whereas my hefty frame sank at every opportunity. At one point Brian offered a hand to help in the extraction, but thinking what ignominy I would face from the gang, as Brian related the tale, I gritted my few remaining teeth, & eventually pulled myself out, my legs seemingly wanting to stay, like a cork in a bottle of wine.  If truth be known I've never had much of a problem extracting corks from bottles! (Can't get away from this bloody poetic license).

It was a little misty but no rain, and pretty perfect running conditions. (If you call my pace running, & my style perfect). We dropped down from the summit along the finishing route of the Belmont Winter Hill race. It's steep, but good running and we were into Belmont in double quick time. Interestingly the small reservoir alongside the road before entering Belmont was virtually empty. Anybody know why?

We then ran up the hill in the direction of Riley Green, like pointer dogs, and crossed the big reservoir on the right before heading along Catherine's Edge (edge referring to Darwen Moor no doubt). It's the worst part of the run, mainly on an uneven stone farm track. Back through the woods and on to the Fisherman's lay bye. 2.5 hours thanks to Brian, who said it was his longest non stop run this year! It was mine also.

Triplets?  Could be the Beverly Sisters..........Still coming later, read on.

Friday 11th

My late dad's birthday.

Joe Howard arrived with my present.........you guessed right first time, a large portion of Shap Black Pudding. Still wrapped in the Shap butchers newspaper, so its authenticity was never in doubt. (Westmoreland Gazette, November 2004). This is just about the best present possible, & I appreciated it very much. We did a mud plod for approx an hour around Hoghton Bottoms & Tops. Neither of us wanting to strain anything, tomorrow we will be in competition at the Mid Lancs at Hynburn xcountry. "Like greyhounds to the slips", come on somebody remind me were that comes from, & it's not Bob Dylan.

I had offered instead of the xcountry, to run the 24 mile Anglezark Amble with the beautiful Paula, who is in training for London, but there was a queue of pretenders to the privilege, and in spite of me being on my knees, I was still refused. You can guess who was chosen. Right first time again, you are sharp, yes, Alan Bloody Appleby.

Paula looking good in training for the London Marathon. The queue of pretenders will be rooting for you.  I'm trying to get her on the fells, if you pardon the expression, we need a few more muddy women, so I suppose she would do. Well, any port in a storm. Lesson 2. 'How to woo a woman'.  I'm not doing very well?  Tell me about it,  I could do with more of homework. The use of the word "more" makes the last sentence a solecism, cos when you ain't got nothing baby, there's only one way you can go. The last sentence could have been written by Bob Dylan, shame on me, self flattery is both bad & sad.

Saturday 12th

Hynburn Xcountry. Clayton le Moors.

Us V60's travelled together, giving us time to tick box our regular list of current ailments. Like Ash, Brian had only yesterday run into something or other, and allegedly damaged some ribs. Joe had allegedly spent some time in the afternoon of yesterday, with a Physio, receiving treatment for a calf problem. For me, seeing is believing, they were just up to their usual gambit.  Me, I had no boxes to tick.....I was in perfect condition. What did you say? Are you talking to me?  In the night there had been a lot of rain, so as one is in direct proportion to the other, there was plenty of mud. Joe said there was as much mud as he'd seen at any recent Xc.  And as Alan Appleby has written in this month's Harrier (bottom of column 2 page 18) why can't senior men go first, thus avoiding the ultimate in mud baths. This race is one of the four in contention for the Vernon's Trophy, anybody know what that is? I was told that it was important to do well!  Points mean prizes. You'll have to look up the results to see what happened. For the record, Eddie Simpson was first Harrier home & lapped me at speed, as in the last Xc. Nothing changes. Earlier I had been on my knees again in interviewer's adulation to our Eddie, in training for London.  What?  Wonder if he knows about Paula? Don't anybody k tell him. Anyway he said he'd done 100 miles this week!  For me, about 30 odd miles, completes a week of a hellofalotta running.

               Onion & Mustard Sauce.                                                       Shap Black Pudding.                                            Together at last! 

Thanks Joe & Marie it was brilliant! What's this got to do with running?   Nothing, It's poetic license! If you're worried at all, that your cholesterol is a wee bit low, rest assured Shap Black Pudding will bring you back to your peak, pdq.

What a sad life eh? & here's one I prepared earlier, watch out Ash (Harrier Photographer of year 2004) now I know which way to point the damn thing!

Brings tears to your eyes eh?

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  No more onions thank you. In journalism you've got to know when to drop the dead donkey.